The Capacity to Develop a Capacity

I was talking with a friend yesterday and we touched upon the subject of one's ability to develop a capacity for something.  I mused about actually having the capacity to develop the capacity for understanding and holding oneself when difficulty arises and we want to act out in some way in order not to feel what is happening in the moment.  Pema Chodron calls this learning to stay.  I believe it is possible to work that muscle in order to have greater and greater resilience in holding ourselves and our painful places. Perhaps life then looks like a basket of kittens--Full of Potential...